Warning. This ISN’T Your Typical Perky Post. 

I don’t want you all to be under any illusion thinking I am super woman and that I’m totally rocking out life every day. There are days when I feel as though I am. But much of the time I struggle. 

Today I’m staying home feeling extremely down, way under the weather (congested and not hungry. You KNOW something’s wrong when my appetite has dissapated), and fatigued. 

(Thank the Lord it’s cut back week…)

I even chose the more conservative route in marathon training knocking my 6 days of running down to 5. 

But, that’s not what I’m talking about here and now. Just a few days ago I mentioned how harmful chronic stress, whether it’s GOOD or bad, to your physical body resulting in many unfavorable symptoms… Much like what I’m experiencing today. 

I WANT to be able to “do-it-all”. However, in a previous post I know I’ve said it, 

You can do many great things, but not EVERY single great thing.

So as a personal trainer how in the world did I allow myself to get here? I mean, I practically PREACH on balance, stability, moderation, and wellness. 

I want you all to know, I NEED you all to know that I, myself, am too incredibly human and susceptible to failure and crashing and burning. Sometimes more often than I’d like to admit. 

So here’s the truth:

I wake up every morning with coffee and a Bible devotion…then this happens:

I’ve yelled at my husband over more stupid crap than I’d like to honestly disclose. 

I’ve fallen prey to the “poor me” attitude. 

I’ve cried like a starving Ethiopian baby. 

I’ve slammed too many doors out of sheer uncalled for anger. 

I’ve struggled to sleep soundly. 

I’ve had to call out of work due to illness. Twice this summer. 

Obviously I’m WAAAAY out of balance somewhere and it has me looking like an insane hypocrite. 

I enjoy running. It is my sanctuary of peace and it’s what makes a lot of who I am.

 I am crazy about training people. Helping people succeed past what they thought they couldn’t brings me more JOY than any other job I’ve done. 

But trying to balance that with a job outside the home, attempting to half-a$$ a clean home (forgive my language. I warned this post wasn’t going to be pretty.), and pretend to be a mother… I say pretend because I feel as though that’s all I can do. I hardly see my own child. I run before he wakes so I don’t detract time from him or my husband but then there’s work. Work. Work. Work. Story of the great American Dream. 

… 

In fact I’m crying like a total weenie right complete with snot face(which doesn’t help my congestion much) now because I feel like the biggest failure in the world. I should be thrilled at all we have. But I’m overwhelmed. I realize I truly can not do it all without completely coming undone. 
If you’re this human too know you’re not alone. That’s why there’s this thing called grace. I can empathize with you dear friend. 

Deep breathe sister. Let it all out. Get some rest. And you’ll be just fine…

Thanks for reading…I’m sorry for whining but I just felt the need to let it all out. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I’ll feel like a rockstar again…

blessed and beautiful running. 

-Jess

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