Running and Worthless and Crazy as Crap.

Am I allowed to say “crap”? Does this title make me look bad? Will people still view me as a “Christian”? Will people think less of me?
Let’s get real, yo. This isn’t some silly post, review, perky up-beat wisdom, or race day fun. Well…maybe some silly. But I think it’s high time you got to know the real me. I’m an encourager, a momma, new wifey, hard worker, motivator, running enthusiast and overall optimistic superwoman in Christ.
Buuuuuuuuut.
I’m also crazy as crap.
No. I’m serious. Sometimes I completely fall apart for no known reason. I cry over stupid things, I yell for no apparent reason (to anyone else anyway), and sometimes I feel depressed.

But let me tell you something: your emotions are not stupid, irrelevant, unbelievable, or undeniable.
They are simply emotions. Own them.
But do not let them own you.
It is okay to be crazy once in a while. The more we learn to let go of our perceived endless efforts of perfection we can then begin to pursue what genuinely matters the most in life.
Running is the only thing that saves me sometimes…
And running helps me “compartmentalize” (as a good phycologist friend suggests…but let me assure you, I felt so angry when I was told to simple compartmentalize my emotions. Like I’m some kind of computer?!) my emotions. Feelings are feelings. But emotions run deep and can sometimes be extremely hard to make sense of. And sometimes they will never sense. And that’s ok too.
Running…
Saves me from feeling worthless.
Feeling like a total failure. Because there are soooooo many days when I try and try but end up like a hot-mess.
Running…
Helps me put the pieces back together again. God gave me a set of legs that move and I am so grateful.

IMG_2571.PNG We are told what a “good” woman in The Lord looks like in proverbs 31. Strength and dignity. And baby, let me tell you, the struggle is real. Nine times out of ten it feels I screw up and have to go crawling back into my hole of “sorry”. It feels more like weakness and impossible and crying at the days to come. But as real as the struggle is, the good Lord is too.

But something about a good long run has a way of clearing that all up…yeah, I’m out now. Here’s to a good 12 miles!

Do you struggle with emotions and “dealing” with them? Please tell me someone else is as crazy as crap too…How do you “compartmentalize” your emotions? Or do you, like me, wear them on your sleeve?

Blessed and Beautiful Running.

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7 thoughts on “Running and Worthless and Crazy as Crap.

  1. Yes ma’am! The emotional struggle is definitely real! The best part of all is the fact that in our weaknesses God shows up strong. He reminds us that in ourselves it’s not going to happen consistently, but through him we maintain our stability. Even after our roller coaster of emotions, he still centers us and reminds us of who we are and whose we are. I agree, for me too, running helps clear the mind and calm the spirit. I call being “crazy as crap” simply being human 🙂 We were created to have emotions, just not let it take control of us. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but each minute gives us a new beginning to get better than the moment before! Great post!

  2. You’re not crazy…or at least you’re no more crazy than the rest of us. I wear my emotions on my sleeve – I just can’t keep them inside! Usually that’s a good thing, but sometimes I need to learn to keep my trap shut.

  3. Pingback: Friday Favorites: Favorite Posts from 2014 | Flying Feet In Faith

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