Who Am I To Ask For More?

We all want things. And we are never satisfied. The more we aquire and/or accomplish the more we desire it seems. I came to this thought this morning because I allowed myself to become so upset about not being able to afford the half-marathon…I have a child to feed, a home and car to maintain.   That takes top priority. And racing can be expensive!  The race fee, the gas to get there, the shoes (oh how I adore new shoes…if I could afford any).
How in the world do you people race so much (and in cute outfits) and afford it all?!  And be so kind to let me in on the secret. 😉 much thanks.
BUT, the meaning of this post is contentment. I began running and racing because I fell in love with the whole process.  It’s fun, gives me confidence and it’s like a mini reward everytime I cross a finish line from all my hard work and dedication. (Well except for one race…)  I should be content that I had the racing experience a few times. But why is that not good enough?
Because:
1.) I haven’t gotten an official Half or Full marathon finishers medal yet
2.) I’ve only placed one time in my age group (being a small local race…but hey, I will take it!)
3.) I’ve only bought 2 pairs of running shoes
4.) I have yet to enjoy a larger scale event
5.) I like to race and meet new people
6.) I’m young and have a lot of life in me ready to GO
7.) I like the free food after (except since I paid a fee I guess it isn’t really free…)
8.) The sense of hard work and reward is an amazing feeling
9.) It keeps me focused
10.) It’s better than chasing bad boys <~~~ for REAL

And I’m sure there’s more to my list I just can’t think of currently…

Wanting more is like chasing the wind. You chase and chase but never catch…meaningless (Ecclesiastes 6:9).
However, I don’t think wanting is always so bad. God knows the desires of our hearts.  He created us for passionate lives. And I’m passionate about my child, life and running!  So where there’s a will there’s a way. Even if it’s not my way RIGHT NOW, I know that He will provide in due time. If we wait patiently (ugh. Seriously, I know, I am NOT a fan of that phrase either.) The timing will be perfect.
So I need to breathe, chill out for a second (minute, hour, day, week…), and know that He is God. What I need is always provided.

You know, I do really struggle with it though. I REALLY wanted to race that half in Asheville so bad.  I might have to start making my own races…ha! 
My mom sent me this picture via text (thanks mom!) the other day and you know, it has meaning here…be proud that I get up and run today.  Can’t afford a race?  That doesn’t stop me from running.  I need to learn contentment and to be proud of the fact that I get up and GO no matter what. Be proud of where I am TODAY!   I’m not who I was yesterday. Only better (and a little faster).

**Please tell me there’s another “poor” runner out there that has struggled with this as well?  And how do you deal?  Are you content to only race a number of times?  How many races do you get in a year?**

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8 thoughts on “Who Am I To Ask For More?

  1. I'm sorry you can't do the half marathons you would like to run right now, but don't give up, one day you will and it will be so much fun because you were looking forward to it for so long.
    Without bragging, I could run a race every weekend and you know what, it doesn't make me happy at all. I make good money at my job, but I'm very unhappy, maybe even depressed. I would like to start a family and actually envy you for your family life. I guess it's always the things we don't have. I guess we both have to be patient and one day it all will work out! 🙂

  2. Hang in there! I was very fortunate last February to run two half marathons that were rather large events. They were absolutely fun, but I think the best part of the entire experience was the time I got to spend with my friends. Since then I've had to be selective with what races I will or won't, just because of budget constraints. One of the best suggestions RW gave was to pick some eventsin advance, start saving up for that event for early registration. You get the best discount that way. If you can find a big event that you don't have to travel as far for, that's even better. Keep running and just remember how it feels to log those distances, I can truly say it's a great feeling to reach 13.1 miles after completing the actual “race.”

  3. Thank you! I sure do love my little guy and wouldn't trade him for any race!! Being a single mother money is usually tight even with a decent job lol patient? Oh that's a dirty word haha I do struggle with that! But you're right, sometimes the longer you wait the more special it is. 🙂 don't be depressed!! Does your job cause a lot of stress?

  4. Thanks Steph! Now why didn't I think to save before?? Probably because everytime I do save something comes up like the kid needs or something. Lol but next year I will have a better game plan! Thank you for the encouragement. 🙂

  5. Great post! Too funny. Seems like we're on the same page. Love that passage by Ecclesiastes, and your point that it's okay to want more. So true. Being passionate is a good thing. But in time, right?

    PS: Fewer races can be a GOOD. First, races are hard on your body…even if you say you're not “racing,” we can't help but get caught up in the adrenaline of it all. Second, if you do 2-3/year, you can set a goal for each one and REALLY train for it.

  6. Thanks! You're right. I thought about that point, focusing and training for a specific set of races, and think maybe if I had a few stellar races a year that'd be good enough. All in time, right!! 🙂

  7. Hey Jessica! I just found your blog and was catching up on some of your posts! I am 44 and a SAHM, my husband is a Battalion Chief for a fire dept. I have a daughter in college and a (surprise) 12 yo son at home. I wanted to share this with you. I just started running in March and have worked my butt off and lost 80 lbs. I ran a half in July, just a small untimed run put on by a local running club. I caught the bug and heard all the girls talking and planning to run the Savannah Rock and Roll half. The race fee is so high and hotel rooms are even higher. Its only about 3 hours away and I thought it would be a fun trip for me and my husband. Well, with bills and college and life the money isnt there. I felt so bad, my body and mind wanted to do it but I couldnt. I was very jealous of those other girls. So, I got a call saying I was due some money so I prayed and asked God that if he would, to make that check the amount I would need for the race fee and hotel stay…Guess What!! It enough!! I was so so so happy! Until, I talked to my husband and we thought about bills and college and savings,etc. So, we put the money up and I didnt register. This past wednesday I got a call at church that my husband had fell in a 3ft hole during a fire and broke his ankle …badly!! He will be out of work for awhile, from the fire dept and his part time job (the job that pays for our “extras” We are so thankful for that put up race money!! If I had registered for the race I probably would have backed out cause I wouldnt want to go without my husband..who wont be traveling for awhile. I know God will provide and I plan on running that race next year..I'm putting some money aside in an envelope. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am loving your blog and your story and I know how you feel!

  8. Wow thank you so much!!! Your story does encourage me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sharing this with me. About made me cry right here in the public library. (We don't even own a computer so most of my blogging is done from the library!)I am so glad you enjoy my blog. Life is so much better when shared with others. Especially when we are here to encourage each other along the way. I sure hope for a speedy recovery for your husband and that God blesses your family in ways you didn't even imagine possible! And that you WILL get that race registration next year. Never give up!

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